Article 2853 of alt.sysadmin.recovery:
Path: udel!news.sprintlink.net!news.azstarnet.com!sun.cais.com!gabby.ShireNet.com!bilbo.ShireNet.com!boburg
From: boburg @ bilbo.ShireNet.com (Brian_and_Laura)
Newsgroups: alt.sysadmin.recovery
Subject: Users in print
Date: 30 Jun 1995 01:50:29 GMT
Organization: Leesburg, Va
Lines: 27
Message-ID: <3svl95$qr9@frodo.ShireNet.com>
NNTP-Posting-Host: bilbo.shirenet.com
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL2]

From the July 1995 Reader's Digest, page 104.  Reprinted without
permission.

   The exasperated help-line caller said she couldn't get her new
personal computer to turn on.  "I pushed and pushed on the foot
pedal and nothing happened," she told the technician on the phone.
   "Foot pedal?" the technician asked.
   "Yes," she answered.  "This little white foot pedal with the ON
switch."
   The "foot pedal," it turned out, was the PC's mouse.

   While working in a church office, I discovered the computer's
"search and replace" feature.  It made preparing wedding programs a
snap.  The computer would find every occurrence of the bride and
groom's names from the previous service and automatically replace
them with the new names.
   Then came the wedding of Karen and Richard.  The computer had
deleted the names of the previous couple, Tricia and Will,
substituting a Karen for each Tricia and a Richard for each Will.
Our pastor, reading from the program, asked the congregation to
support the newlyweds in their journey through life: "Richard
you?" he asked.  And the perplexed congregation responded with
their printed answer: "We Richard."

--
boburg @ shirenet.com
.. and he didn't call the Chappaquiddick police until 8 hours later.