Article 3213 of alt.humor.best-of-usenet: Path: udel!delmarva.com!newsfeed.internetmci.com!news.fibrcom.com!news.myriad.net!pagesat.net!news.dfw.net!convex!news.onramp.net!news.sprintlink.net!howland.reston.ans.net!vixen.cso.uiuc.edu!uwm.edu!newsspool.doit.wisc.edu!decwrl!gatekeeper.us.oracle.com!inet-nntp-gw-1.us.oracle.com!news From: Saul Tannenbaum Newsgroups: alt.humor.best-of-usenet Subject: [alt.sysadmin.recovery] Sendmail for matter transport (was Re: Users...) Followup-To: alt.humor.best-of-usenet.d Date: 20 Jun 1995 20:40:18 GMT Organization: best of usenet humor Lines: 60 Approved: ahbou-mod @ acpub.duke.edu Message-ID: <3s7bni$ims@inet-nntp-gw-1.us.oracle.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: orion.us.oracle.com X-Disclaimer: the "Approved" header verifies header information for article transmission and does not imply approval of content. See .sig below. X-Submissions-To: ahbou-sub @ acpub.duke.edu From: ilaine @ panix.com (Liz Stokes) Newsgroups: alt.sysadmin.recovery Subject: Re: Sendmail for matter transport (was Re: Users...) What was that daniel.barlow @ sjc.ox.ac.uk said? oh yes... >In article <3r6u7o$dd3@epprod.elsevier.co.uk>, >Ade Rixon wrote: >>A matter transporter based on sendmail? I have seen the >>future and it's f**king terrifying! Imagine: >> >>a) People arrive at their destination with new heads; >>b) People with blonde hair have it dyed brown because blonde is used by >>sendmail as a person delimiter; >>c) Due to obscure config file errors, every tenth person loses a vital >>organ; >>d) Organ transplants made on the fly, randomly; >>e) People arriving with someone else stuck to their feet; >>f) People arriving in five segments with a preamble that says, "To >>reassemble the original package, use the right sort of glue"; >>g) Some people mysteriously vanish and are never seen again. And you don't >>find out until five weeks later when someone wonders why your Australian >>auntie never did visit... >>h) Some people spend five days bouncing back and forth between >>transporters, and are then "expired" by sendmail. > >i) People over 6ft2 being rejected by some braindamaged gateway halfway >between the source and destination site, and arriving back home with >`Unknown mailer error 5' stamped on their forehead. > >j) Lusers with forwarding loops > >k) Security holes in the MTA that let unprivileged users fake people so >that they look like they came from somewhere else (yeah, I know it's not >a security hole so much as a standard bit of protocol, but would _you_ >want to be PGP signed?) > >Daniel "I teleported home one night, with Ron and Sid and Meg / Ron stole >Meggie's heart away, and I got Sidney's leg" >(scary how much Douglas Adams is appropriate to this group, isn't it?) l) broken mail<->news gateways. 500 copies of yourself sitting in every news-spool on the 'Net. n) *real* mailbombs. email a terrorist to president@whitehouse.gov o) "Well honey, it happened like this. I thought I'd surprise you at work, but I mistyped your email address and got bounced to postmaster. The next thing I knew I was sitting in your bosses office. I wasn't exactly naked, I was wearing our pet boa constrictor..." p) "Dear sysadmin, my parents emailed my brother to me for a visit, but I accidentaly deleted him when I tried to uudecode him. Can you restore him from tape backup for me? My parents will be really upset if I lost him" "email - for when it absolutely has to get lost at the speed of light" -- Moderators accept or reject articles based solely on the criteria posted in the Frequently Asked Questions. Article content is the responsibility of the submittor. Submit articles to ahbou-sub @ acpub.duke.edu. To write to the moderators, send mail to ahbou-mod @ acpub.duke.edu.